The Yoga of Getting Unstuck

I feel stuck in a job that's lost it's pizzaz, it's sparkle, it's excitement. I'm like many people out there who know they want to make a career change but don't quite know where to get started or how. I'm not even convinced that a change is in order, but I do know that something needs to shift--either internally or externally. I'm not sure which.

I look back on changes I've made in the past; usually they happen in an instant-- a moment of courageous action or a twist of fate. I finally got up the nerve to make that cold call or I met the right person at the right time. In fact, the former is how I got my current job and the latter is how I met my husband. Magic, in an instant. No time. No space. No effort.

But this time it's different. There has been so much indecision. So much back and forth. I'm not convinced that leaving my job is the right thing, but staying in it is making me miserable.

Recently, I found a new yoga instructor. Last month I completed my first three-week yoga immersion and I am now in the middle of my second. I've gotten up before 7:00 every morning for the past five weeks for the first time in 20 years! This alone was enough for a huge shift to occur. However, there's more to it than that. This is the first time I've taken a yoga class that emphasizes "being" rather than "doing." That is, the poses are a means to an end, not an end in themselves. I'm not leaving yoga feeling like I got a full-body workout but I do leave with a sense of spaciousness and deep relaxation in my body. The aches and pains diminish or disappear. My thoughts go from 100mph to a meandering 5mph. I experience a new sense of openness, stillness, balance.

When I started the immersion I thought it would be a good way to get back in shape and restart my yoga practice. But as I lay in meditation during the first class I thought, "I'm in for much more than I bargained for here"!!! He used the metaphor of a river. "Are you swimming upstream or downstream?" he asked. I'd heard this metaphor used before but somehow I was hearing it for the first time and in a new way. "Crap. I've been resisting. I'm good at resisting. How do I stop resisting?".

I continued to breathe and listen to his words. All those words he spoke started resonating deeply with me. Then we slowly got up and started a series of poses. It wasn't what I expected. The poses were more about being in the moment, stretching slowly and deliberately, rather than muscling our way through the practice. I left thinking, "That can't be all there is. Where's the physical workout?" And yet, I was starting to feel a deep peacefulness I hadn't felt before.

I came back the next day. Same thing. And the next day after that. Same thing. As we practiced a slower, more deliberate series of poses and as I was reminded of the river metaphor during each meditation, I felt myself moving more and more deeply within. I couldn't wait to get out of bed in the morning (also something new to me!). Going to yoga started to feel like coming home. I stopped obsessing so much and started hearing that voice of wisdom. The one that says to stop worrying and to have faith. I wasn't driving myself crazy anymore with long to-do lists and "Gotta do it now!" mania. I felt more connected to myself in some way. More calm and peaceful. My yoga instructor has described it as a vertical way of being rather than an horizontal way of being. It's hard to explain but it works.

So that is what I'm calling the "Yoga of getting unstuck"~ moving from within first and then listening for the next step. Right now my next step is this one--right here and right now. My mind wants an answer so badly! It wants to know, "Do I leave my job or do I stay? If I leave what do I do next? How do I make money? " Blah. Blah. Blah. This is crazy-making. So I'm trying something different. I'm "being" with the confusion, the frustration, the angst. I'm breathing instead of thinking. I'm feeling the new spaciousness in my body. It feels good!

What's on the other side of all this doing and thinking? I intend to find out one breath at a time!