For love or money?

Today I saw a new doctor who I definitely plan on seeing again. She asked me the typical question, "So what do you do?" and then, after I told her, she asked, "Do you like what you do?" I told her I was burned out and, in fact, was looking for a change. She said, "What are you afraid of?" I told her, "Money. Not being able to make a living doing what I love". She said, "Never do things for the money. Only do things because you love to do them. Ask yourself, 'Am I doing it for the money or doing it because I love to do it?' When you do what you love--when you do what you are passionate about--you will never have to work another day in your life".

She told me about when she used to work in other doctor's offices and how she would do things she really wasn't interested in because she needed the money. Now she owns her own practice (a very lucrative and successful one at that) and "I only do the things I love to do". The smile on her face says it all.

Right now I am a teacher. Would I teach the classes I teach if I didn't get paid? Possibly, with some "tweeks" here and there---a shift in curriculum, the population of students, the venue. This is the tricky part--actually knowing what I want and knowing what it will look like. Maybe the trick is making those small "tweeks", "putting it out there" and taking baby steps so that it can take on a life of it's own. It reminds me of the creative process of writing a song or creating a painting. I had a sense of what the tune would be or what colors I wanted to start with but I rarely had the end product in mind before I started.

I've done three yoga immersions now. My teacher warned me that this latest immersion is only for people who are ready to "have" what they want. I rolled up my sleeves and said to myself, "I'm ready!" But I don't think I bargained for how long the process can take or how mysterious it can be. Patience is the name of the game. Every time I try to create an answer by thinking about it my teacher gently reminds me that "Yes, maybe it will look like that. But instead of focusing on what you might do, focus on being your light and see what happens". Aaahhh. Every time I think I have the answer....

At the end of my appointment today my doctor asked, 'So what do you want to do?" I hesitated because #1 this is a hard question to answer in one minute or less and #2 I'm not sure. But I gave her as close to an answer as I could, ending with, "But I'm afraid what people will think". She smiled and said, "Do what you love and what you're good at and people will want what you have to give. You won't even care what people think after awhile". She runs an integrative health practice in which she uses natural healing methods for helping the body heal itself--nutritional supplementation, bio-identical hormones, lifestyle recommendations. Sounds like prescription medications are last on her list of treatment options if they are on her list at all. She has other doctors calling her regularly to chew her out for practicing in this way despite the progress they are seeing in their patients. They argue that their patients' "progress is only due to the placebo effect". She knows better and tells them so and then hangs up and continues to help people feel better who have suffered for years. I admire her tenacity.

I'm not quite sure what my next "career" will look like. But I do feel the current of the river carrying me along, supporting me, showing me people and opportunities that may give me some clues. It's so hard to be patient sometimes. So hard not to obsess and try to figure it all out. For now I will do my best to listen to my yoga teacher's words echoing in my ears, "Just be your light and see what happens" and my doctor's passion for what she does reminding me to "Do it for love, not for the money".